ReVeNgE

2009-08-04T17:10:00.000+08:00

life

2009-03-20T14:09:00.000+08:00

life is creul.
it works in a very inexplicable ways
i feel cheated, played and abandoned.
there are lot of things i have to learn from these incident.

i realized that you can learn alot from life if you open your eyes and ears. be aware of all the things happened to you or around you.

i'm trying to be as optimistic as possible. stay happy and leave the world in peace. thats my destiny.

ciao

hey

2009-01-11T12:31:00.003+08:00

hey guys.. its been what??? 1 and a half months???
tmr is the ' doom's day ' so i wanna see whats gonna happen...
holiday was fun.. i got a god-son...... long story........

perth..... was fun.. almost.. almost feel like a rockstar..

hongkong.. was awesome.. went for SAT and got quite a high score..
i spent my time meditating for x'mas.. wat a bloody boring thing to do..
thanks to my aunt who is damn anti-christ...

myanmar... arrr.. hometown.... boring like fuck..

bloody annoying cousins>>>>>>

anyway.. here i am to say goodbye to all my dearest friends in singapore..
i'm going to states for further studies..
so see ya.
peace..

oh. ya
hate me, i know you want to.. hahahaha

we might fall

2008-11-19T00:51:00.002+08:00

You should go to sleep now,
I would stay up the night.
I’ll be up to watch the world around us live and die.
Lying on the grass now,
Dancing for the stars.
Maybe one will look on down and tell us who we are

We might fall, Hallie we might fall

I could join the circus,
And you could sell your hair.
I could learn to walk the line or learn to train the bears.
Tell me are you crazy,
And did you like the cold.
Tell me are you comfortable if comfortable at all.

We might fall, Hallie we might fall...

sycuer

2008-11-13T01:29:00.003+08:00

man this sucks..
this meaning the infection make my bloody red right eye pain for every blink i make.
like really really sucks
screw the contact lenses
screw the infection
save my eye. pls

face inside

2008-11-07T23:19:00.002+08:00

Why does it feel like night today? Something in here's not right today. Why am I so uptight today? Paranoia's all I got left. I don't know what stressed me first. Or how the pressure was fed. But I know just what it feels like. Have a voice in the back of my head Like a face that I hold inside. A face that awakes when I close my eyes. A face watches every time I lie. A face that laughs every time I fall and watches everything.

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim. That the face inside is hearing me. Right beneath my skin. It's like I'm paranoid looking over my back. It's like a whirlwind inside of my head.It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within. It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me. Points out all my mistakes to me. You've got a face on the inside too. Your paranoia's probably worse. I don't know what set me off first. But I know what I can't stand. Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is I can't add up to what you can but....

papercut... the very right song....

quick post

2008-11-06T01:29:00.003+08:00

ok ok heres the quick post.

There are admittedly thousand thoughts / feelings in my mind, my heart: worry, frustration, melancholy. But when one is stuck at home with antibiotics and hundreds of scripts, it is always good to just focus on things one at a time, one deadline before the next. I am also thinking about my everyday frustrations, unrealistic demands/deadlines and the forseeable problems from the upcoming responsibilities. I need to be ‘more zen’ as zoey puts it, and soar above the things that get me. Because they really get me. I find myself getting riled up and agitated at those who put pressure on others just because they feel that what they do is right. To fly higher, away from the maddening crowd.

be a bitch.. because you can :)

exams!!!

2008-10-06T22:13:00.001+08:00

first of all..... i wanna say that Mr. Cha is totally right!
12 hrs of studying is not enough!
Initially I have the tendency of not being able to satisfy easily with what i have achieved.
its like, I aimed for that particular grade and i achieved it, alright.. but i'm still not satisfied.
same goes with the time for studying...
initially I studied 3-5 hrs a day depending on my mood.
after Mr. Cha said 12hrs of studying is not enough... first thing that hits my mind is
rubbish!
but no harm testing it out right??? so i did....
i tried studying for 12hrs aday...
yet i'm still not satisfied with my studying... i feel that i could accomplish more
i'm having a pressure that i've never encountered before.
Pressure from parents, peer, friends and even some teachers
I DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT TO LET THEM DOWN!
i know its kinda funny.. because i'm studying for myself, not for them...
but still they are the ones who gives me THE DRIVE to study
I have to work even more harder. Mrs Kee came up to class this morning and gave us a tyrade
quite inspiration one...
she said.. Micheal Phelps swims 5000m every morning 7days a week without failing just to train for 400m race....
it really hits me... because it makes me wonder...
AM I STUDYING HARD ENOUGH???
i have to study really really hard in this last stretch.
i have to focus on "THE NOW"
i should forget about my plan after Os for this while....
i've been given many oppotunities in my life.
and this is something that i definitely have to grab.

75 topics
16 days
6 subjects
2 hands
1 brain
---------------------
100% Ownage (90% hard work, 10% intelligence)
and still.... i'm here happy calculating.... hehehe
dammit i wasted 10mins typing this post!
ciao... this would be my last post till the ends of my exams!!!!

hate me, i know you want to... hahaha

self centred?

2008-10-03T20:25:00.003+08:00

On the day I was born, I was crying while everyone else is happy.
On the day i die, will everyone cry while i am happy???

b'day

2008-09-28T23:43:00.005+08:00

hey
its been quite a fun weekend.
friday : celebrated Bernice's 16th b'day.... a surprise one
saturday : church, training and sleep zzzz
sunday : studied with zoey in cityhall... ppffttt... so noisy.

here are pics from the b'day celebration

we were playing cards while waiting for Bernice to arrive.

Mivio's candid shot. * actually i wanted to see her cards *

Zhen Ming was studying while we were playing cards
bloody hardworking one. well... EOY what can we expect.

Brian praying
Mivio with GO AWAY! pose
Nick with his "plan" and a "winning smile"
Bernice arrived around 7+. Miv had to leave

Its time for
"smell the feet and guess who!" game

ARRGGHHH SMELLY LAH!

NO LAH... JUST KIDDING... NO SUCH GAME!
*WISHING* hmm.. Ace Os and Keep smiling :D

err wait afew more wishes... *WISHING*READY, SET, GO! *ZOOM*

wtf???

2008-09-25T22:50:00.003+08:00

hey
my whole body aches
my head, my fist and my legs
dammit. dunno what to do
i can barely think.
all i can do is sleep and sleep and sleep and guess what? sleep again..
how can i study when my head aches???
and those bloody classmates who cant take those prac papers fucking seriously and make hell of a noise while i tried to focus, SCREW THEM ALL!!! FUCK!

ran to the wall and bang on to it until ur brain ooze out.

high

2008-09-20T00:43:00.001+08:00

this is what happened ytd.
i got high on u knw wat....

damn it was 2:42am..
i gotta sober up,
i aint never been this high this early!
i took a shower, i was still high.
i said maybe music will do the trick,
i listened to every CD i had, i was still high
exersise, that's what ill do! i ran around the block 4 times, still high.
took a nap woke up fucked up. i looked at the clock... it was 3:40am

F**KED UP LIFE.
CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE...

what

2008-09-09T23:36:00.002+08:00

i've been trying to express myself
i think i need more of it...
cos i want to open up.. and improve my english language aswell..
previous posts have been really really chim.. i suppose.

alright.. time for some personal stuff..
i wasted my whole holiday sleeping and watching naruto..
i only had handful of hours of studying..
i feel damn wasted...

i saw a guitar afew days back.. Ibenez brand..
i've been longing for that guitar.. but no money!! dammit
i saw one of it on the e-bay.. quite cheap though
USD$400.. i mean what are the odds???
should i buy that guitar or a good camera??
cant decide... i'm in a fucking dilemma.. i want both..
but my budget is US$500.

oh ya.. the best that has ever happen to me yet...
i got reaquainted with my childhood sweetheart
wooohooo (:
too bad its via chatroom... i havent seen her for like 8 years..
shes all grown up now.. hahaha
her name... Violette aka Chit

wooohooo

the dream

2008-09-06T02:46:00.002+08:00

whisper in the yard and turn the trees all into toys
lay there on the ground and turn the dirt into your joy
from what i see and what i know, its all been boring lately
so i suggest we trade a question mark (?) in for a maybe

time your riddles right and make a point that has no sense
make sure that you are smiling and money's been well spent
innocence and ignorance, it all goes hand in hand
i'm not sure that i'm right but i hope you'll understand

i hope you're still searching for the start that has no end
and all the plastic people has now become your friends
before you start to drift and your soul begins to scream
i just wanted to tell you that all you read above is just an illustration of a DREAM...

hate me, i know you want to...
phewww... what a dream

simple man

2008-09-05T02:06:00.002+08:00

Take your time, don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
You'll find a woman and you'll find love
And don't forget that there is someone up above
Forget your lust for rich man's gold
All that you need now is in your soul
You'll find yourself
Follow your heart and nothing else

Be a simple kind of man and be something you love and understand
simple man

hate me, i know you want to.
3more weeks to recovery..
dammit

what is that?

2008-09-03T00:15:00.002+08:00

I've never told a lie and that makes me a liar,
I've never made a bet, but we gamble in desire,
I've never lit a match, with intent to start a fire,
But recently the flames are getting out of control.
Now there's an aching in my side, a stabbing pain that says I lack,
The common sense and confidence to bring an end to promises,
That I make in times of desperate conversation,
Hoping my night would be better than this in the end.
Just say when. la la la la la

new verse, new inspirations, new experience
hate me, i know you want to
ouch

2008-08-31T13:44:00.002+08:00

Are you waiting for something? Because there's a tension in the air..
something unresolved, I can smell it in your hair
So step down and look around
You could leave it all behind and never hear another sound
Say you're holding onto someone but they will never show you the same

Are you breathing for nothing? Because there's a vision in my eye
something unresolved, I swear it feels like this could die
I can see to a degree
A broken back is always something, if you did it saving me
Say you're holding onto nothing and it's showing all over your face

So don't say a word that I wouldn't say
Just grumble it out and throw it away
We're just wasting time and we're taking up space
So don't say a word that I wouldn't say
TO YOU....

hate me, i know you want to.
haha

saying???

2008-08-24T03:39:00.001+08:00

So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic. And the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred, to connect. And to know in our hearts... that we are not alone

Mohinder Suresh

bad day

2008-08-14T20:28:00.002+08:00

ALL I NEED IS THE AIR I BREATHE AND A PLACE TO REST MY HEAD

bad day bad day bad day bad day

bad day bad day bad day bad day

bad day bad day bad day bad day

dont say a word

2008-08-10T00:16:00.003+08:00

Completely colorblind, these red lights are going unseen
Fall behind with words unsaid you know they're always obscene
because my ears, they bled before... I need to let them heal
She fell out... her broken legs won't let her walk away
From this town that couldn't give a single shit either way
And her fears, they bled before she's convinced that they're real

Lost her way from everything she swore she knew, a friend
Run away from start to finish though it never ends
In her mind she is blinded by all she sees
Close your eyes; just pretend the bullet isn't there
No surprise; no need to pretend that no one really cares
But in her eyes you will find the very best in me

What are you looking for?
Are you looking for something more?
When did it all unwind?
Are you prepared for what you'll find?
Its not me...

i wrote that down in the middle of the night after party afew days ago.
i was partly drunk and i could barely remember what inspired me...

nights

say

2008-08-07T19:34:00.004+08:00

say.... what did i do? (some ppl asked....)
yeah... WHAT DID I DO? errrr... i forgot... about the fornight...
but i still rmb about last week :D (okay. zoey and jenny.. yes i am pointing you!!)

i got drunk, talked crap, got high, sat one corner chat with friends...
not to mention sleeping and peeing on the road...
i saw this on the way to kallang stadium to watch Brazil Vs Singapore. LOL!

god is a two door elevator

2008-07-23T23:16:00.002+08:00

I'm not sure what's worse.
The waiting or the waiting room
"You're next sir" becomes a cruel taunt to you
Recycled air, the smell of sleep and disinfectant

Do they even cure you? Or is it just to humor us before we die?
If only we could heal ourselves and get back what we possessed.

I'm always wishing, I'm always wishing too late for things to go my way
but it always ends up the same
I must be missing, I must be missing the point
Your signal fades away and all I'm left with is noise.

*silence*
i enjoyed it. Because total silence is hard to come by in this daily grinds.

nights
i'm out.

let it go

2008-07-20T08:41:00.001+08:00

I like laying in the green grass in an open atmosphere, staring at the blue sky
with everything so clear, with no one next to me...
I got nowhere else to be, But right here

In a busy world, sometimes we forget to breathe
trapped inside the daily grind and that's all there seems to be

but there's more to it than that, take your time to just relax
and feel the breeze

Thinking about nothing, and have a moment just for me
like the clouds up in the air, a sacred kind of peace
I gotta unwind myself, close my eyes and just breathe

Tomorrow can wait for me.
past is history
present is where i live
future is what i willing to face

hate me i know you want to
GOOD MORNING!

funeral of hearts

2008-07-11T22:31:00.002+08:00

The heretic seal beyond divine
A prayer to a god who's deaf and blind
The last rites for souls on fire
Three little words and a question - " why? "

funeral of hearts <3

scream

2008-06-29T21:13:00.002+08:00

When our time is up, when our lives are done, will we say we've had our fun?
Will we make a mark this time? Will we always say we tried...
All the love I've met, I have no regrets if it all ends now...
I'M SET!

i wanna stand on the rooftop and scream my heart out...
but they will be whisper.

hate me, i know you want to
nights

school

2008-06-23T00:01:00.002+08:00

hey people.
our 'holiday' has officially ended starting now!!!
i didn't accomplish much in this holiday. other than catching up with Diane and repair my guitars.
oh ya.. I MISS VIETNAM!!! err.. good times ~~

i will be busy for next afew months. when i mean busy i mean super duper busy... i wont be going out alot. i wont sit and stone for afew hours infront of my computer!!!
Sardine packed activities ahead! elongated school hours and self-study hours. I HAVE TO GET INTO GOOD JC!!! if not i cant continue to study in Singapore...(a country which i come to love in this 5year =D)

I've been trying to finish all the work I’ve left since the start of the holidays. The mood around here has been positively depressing and I have to start waking up before the sun is up. Boo! Back to school tomorrow, a week too early in my opinion.

i am suppose to be sleeping by now...
ang dong dong ask me to sleep early... haha.... she tried...
alright gotta sleep. so i can talk rubbish in class tomorrow (mwahahaha)

hate me, i know you want to.
nights

weirdest post

2008-06-19T00:42:00.002+08:00

this post gonna be the most weird post ever!
i am gonna write in the language that i am not very familiar with.
and i am sure most of you all are not familiar with this language.. ok... here goes nothing...

mis dolores del corazón cuando una muchacha amó me dijeron en un muchacho que ella ama. ella y yo somos imposibles estar juntos. Ella nunca sabrá mis sentimientos en ella ... porque nunca lo dije. ella es ello me va en la relación con el muchacho ella ama ... que no quiero verla apoyar manos o abrazo con aquel muchacho delante de mí.

ódieme, sé que usted quiere a.
adios

back and still kicking

2008-06-17T02:52:00.002+08:00

hey ppl, I am HOME!!!
yes i am.. and i am glad and sad to be back...
i am glad cos my comfy bed is waiting for me under the gasp of sunlight through the window
i am sad cos i am missing the trip already!!!

It’s difficult to get the words out now but the past afew days have been terrifyingly dramatic and intense by the hour. Let’s just say I’m glad everyone’s safe. Now that I’m back, I’m going to give myself a lazy week - i need booze and some time to lie down and not do anything.

but still, there are alot of unwanted activities which i avoided before the trip await for me with open arms... a folio to finish, subjects to catch up, A and E maths to get reunified... MAN when is this gonna end?

i wish... i just wish... that i wake up every morning with a smile on my face and praising how good the world is. birds chirping, trees swaying and friendly people... ohh what a wonderful world!!!

yahhh right! dream on... that usually happen in my dream's dream...( ok i let u digest about this for awhile).. ok moving on............... in reality i woke up every morning complaining about the people downstair making hell lot of noise even though its 7 in the morning... i put on my glumsy face and drag myself to the bath room... standing and staring at my reflection on the mirror... counting the pimples on my face.. aww man...

these afew days gonna be damn boring.. i cant wait for school to reopen.. i am just rotting to death at home... hmm someone say she like rotting.. haha. ok. making the best out of this holiday... its 3.12 am and i am still awake.. dammit..

oh ya.. i am currently listening to Faber Drive's "tongue tied" "second chance" and "when i'm with you" which is the song on my blog... and erm.. let me think what else to say.. hmmmm... oh ya.. the photos taken by Mr. Lam in the vietnam trip in on the school website...

deh... am i boring you? haha.
hate me, i know you want to.

damn

2008-06-14T15:36:00.002+08:00

hey ppl... i am still somewhere far from home...

reading thru other ppl blogposts about vietnam trip, i decided not to tell the 'story' all over again... its just make u bored... cos u'll be reading about the same thing again and again and again.. so i shall just make it short and sweet.

vietnam trip is totally awesome.
new faces, new places and new friends!!! i was being extra all along the trip.. crack jokes here and there...

i am missing Diane, Michelle(brand of my electric guitar), Fina (brand of my acoustic guitar).
sound quite wrong.. but anyway.... i'll be back in afew days...

neon

2008-06-05T23:34:00.002+08:00

The radio is blasting, and I realise it’s been a while since I listened to freetoair. Darn the mp3s and radioblogs that customises everything for you. Personalising favourites, separating all downloaded songs into genres, artists, favourites, playlists. You no longer need to wait for your favourite songs to come on air and quickly press record on the tape recorder.
Today I decide that I do not need to be in control of what I listen and what song comes next.
So i lug the trusty hifi into my room, draw the curtains, open the windows. It is sunny outside, and the green grasspatch that I see from the 4th floor is basking in the light, glowing.
I have work to do, materials to adapt, think about, brainstorm, plan, analyse. But there will always be more of these, won’t it? I take out paper, start scibbling down my ideas.The music blasts. I find it hard to control the pen. I’m not a good brainstormer, but really I realise it doesn’t matter. I just want to do my own thing. Remember who I once was, who I am, who I want to be.
And then a gem of a song plays. The heart jumps and sighs at the familiarity and spontaneous surprise.
I kind of hate/love living. It is a comedy act, with our own stage, our own spotlight. In the middle of the playact there are some dramatic moments, revelations that tend to throw you off balance. But you improvise.
I have forgotten who I am in the endless assignments and focused mission of educating. I forget myself as multifaceted. I forget how to segment time into me-time, your-time, work-time, their-time.
I am still becoming. We all are. To say identity is static is but an imposed idealised version based on history. Who I am is a fluid concept - a neverending metamorphosis - a schizophrenic (we are many things).
I need to work out more.I need to eat better.I need to cut down on the drinking.
My life doesn’t have a script. It doesn’t need one. Because the fun part comes when you improv.

happy

2008-06-02T19:14:00.003+08:00

I am happy with the fatigue! Life has its sweets and sour.
why not, try tasting both! oh wait! I have tasted!
It makes me smile and cry. Well, its the world i know...

world i know

2008-06-01T03:12:00.003+08:00

Has our conscience shown? Has the sweet breeze blown? Has all the kindness gone? Hope still lingers on.... I think myself of newfound pity. Sitting stoned while someone's kicking. And I dont know why.
Are we listening to hyms of offering? Have we eyes to see that love is gathering? All the words that Ive been reading, have now started the act of bleeding into ONE.
So I walk up on high and I step to the edge, to see my world below. And I laugh at myself while the tears roll down. Because it's the world I know.

the world i know, the world i know is cruel, sick and unfair. LIFE IS A LIE. we have to keep cover up things that we do for the sake of our future. "Whatever happened had happened, you cant do anything about it, MOVE ON!" thats true. Life still goes on, we continue our lies, take them to our graves, buried underground. I could not bother anything about this anymore. So I'll forgive and forget.
.
nights...

wtf??

2008-05-28T22:16:00.006+08:00

This week is an exceptionally busy week of the month, but it has been overly bad as I had assumed it would be. However, my strive to maintain a semblance of a ‘holiday’ for the week (read: watching latest shows online in the wee hours of the morning) means that by the time it’s evening, I’m yawning and dozing off.

That, i cant do on a regular basis! Thanks to the lifeless "Lor Mai Kai" activities lining up like stone walls which i couldn't penetrate. And provoking horror with the camp. Total CHAOS was taking place at sundown. 'they' charged ununiformly towards me like bats out of the cave. guess whos under these pile of buggers!1 day... just 1 day... i spoon fed the co-ordinators. Knowing that i will rot to death at home, deciding to go for it. By today i hope they dont need me anymore. So that i could go home and take my bloody NAP!

I am really really looking forward for the vietnam trip next month! sharing room with zk and ws. It will turn out UGLY! yeah.. hahaha. The trip hopefully will be a window to my stress and time to open up my mind... Make new friends! if thats possible... hahaok.. picture this happening in the small hotel room in vietnam!!! hell yeah!

something

2008-05-26T01:22:00.003+08:00

Friday was officially the last day of the semester, but perhaps it is a truism to say that i don’t feel anything but - the whole of next week is sardine-packedfilled with full day trainings that stretch even longer that my everydays, and a massive logistical nightmare is also facing us as intensive lesson continues on Tuesday..

went for hillsong united concert. quite alot of people like 5000ppl?? plus or minus 500ppl... its probably the high point of my day. i was sooooo tired then... but there is something tat keeps me going... missed my lunch... starve as hell. went to changi to eat after the concert. guess wat.. missed the last train... took bus to ang mo kio from bedok. halfway down the road, alighted and took taxi back home. reached home like 1.30am?? when i was about to sleep Jenny called me that i need to do a proposal. deadline is sunday 8am.. CRAP. i did the proposal till 3.30am. i was stoned after the proposal.. i couldnt sleep... so i called up JY and had a night stroll under the mrt tracks... walk till 5+ and had Mac with JY. then went back home to SLEEP! yeah.. finally

i was then woken up by the bloody alarm from my phone it goes 'tam tam tam...' tokyo drift song... went to brief the juniors for the camp. then came home and guess wat... SLEEP AGAIN!
actually i am bloggin cos i really got nth better to do... this is probably the crappiest post ever this year... anyways... YOU HAVE TO BE IN THE ZONE!!!! ppl who go for the concert should get the meaning.. haha..

No particular feelings about the upcoming holidays though. And times like these I wonder if I’ve given up on the fight. Anyway, excuse me if I don’t seem to be more sociable than usual during the looming june holidays, but chances are, I’ll be sleeping!

sry... i just wasted like 3mins of ur life...
hate me.. i know you want to...hahaha

inevitable

2008-05-19T22:35:00.001+08:00

Do you remember when we were just kids, and cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss? School yard conversations taken to heart, and laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not.
I want to break every clock. the hands of time could never move again. We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
Its amazing how life turns out, the way that it does. We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love....

costume party

2008-05-18T22:46:00.007+08:00

i admit... the previous post was quite random...
These words were trying to blast out from my mind, so i had no choice but to put them in place.. wherelse? the blog!!!
saturday...hmm.. quite an interesting day... went RP openhouse with Jas and Zul... went there just to get FREE movie tickets. Did alot of nonsense and 'flirt' with the 'hotties' from RP... gosh.. cant believe they listen to all our nonsense...
in the evening, went to wayne's house for the costume party... I reached there early. Only Nick and James were there, Wayne wasnt at home and i was shocked to see Nick sitting on Wayne's bed only in boxer... James gave his RVx bike ride to GinMoh to eat... It was a fun shit... i hadnt been on a bike for 6years... damn..
I helped out Nick in painting his body white... He wanna be Ju-on from the grudge... It turned out pretty good and he won the best costume of the night...
I was a vamp/dracula... a limping one... haha.. and i was damn clumsy.. i keep steppin on my cape and keep slipping.. other than that, my costume turned out pretty real...
I was quite dissappointed to see some ppl came without any costumes.. but some put on their best look with their costumes... after party i stayed at wayne's house till 11.30. played guitar hero3... which is totally in my element.. i nvr play before but when i started playin i feel damn comfortable...
here are the photos. i just pick some random photos.. there're alot more... ask from uli and shannon for photos..

count dracula (drunkula?!?) and pirate (princess of goth?!?)

warning!! Ju-On ahead!

some weird photo in the toilet...

ok.. i am suppose to a vamp/dracula... but with my nerdy specs and a lightening mark on my forehead.. i am HARRY POTTER!

all i need

2008-05-18T11:59:00.002+08:00

Do you know where your heart is? Do you think you can find it? Did you trade it for something, somewhere... better just to have it. Do you know where your love is? Do you think that you lost it? You felt it so strong but nothing turned out how you want it. Bless her soul, a lonely soul. Cause you wont let go of anything you hold.
all I need is the air I breathe And a place to rest my head
Do you know what your fate is? And are you trying to shake it! You`re doing your best and You`re best look, You`re praying that you`ll make it
Do you think you can find it? Better than you have it.Do you know where the end is? Do you think you can see it? Until you get there. Go on. Go ahead and scream it. Just say....

deprived

2008-05-11T01:31:00.001+08:00

I guess I should have got some sleep

but I was dying to catch the sun. I seldom seems to stick around too long, in time my altered mind tried to consume the light but it blinded me by flying much too high... I get a hold of an intuition in this vision spins me round no revelation, just white lies....like 'when I come across my next tight spot, I just might not let me down and that I'm already fine...

the grass is greener, it's a common misconception, but i wonder if they're talking it out... cause people dream of a scene, don't understand how it feels and everybody thinks they're going without... Am I allowed to make a fuss? I'm only 17, still feels like something's fucked up cause nobody seems OK to me...

too many faces and not one of them's a friend. people conform just to connect while moneymakers note our dreams, we feel like nothing's real if the screen does not reveal it, what's to see? keep thinking ... neverthat if you lose this mindset, you just might get left behind can't see that's how to get freesome... people see it but get defeatist.. see it's do or die. how else are we to survive?

you want to grow, you ought to know the way you're going we keep multiplying just the same... no one way's right, but something's wrong, there's no escape that's not changed

guess I should have got some sleep...

life

2008-05-07T19:13:00.004+08:00

its so intriguing to see my life in different aspect... I've done alot of things that i shouldn't have done, had alot of mistakes, screwed up big time for so many times that i even lost count.But looking back.. its totally alright.. THEY make me a better person. I learned from my mistakes and moved on.

I made alot of friends, good ones and bad ones.GOOD OR BAD DOESNT MATTER! they are just friends.Come on.. we are human, we are imperfect.. Cant we just accept for who they are?

You know what i hate the most?Looking straight into the eye of the person you love and lie. I am not doing that again.. NEVER!

birds

2008-04-29T21:20:00.002+08:00

This evening, on the way to the interchange for cell,
I saw a bird zooming about in the void deck.
It was flying very quickly but changing it’s direction every now and again to prevent itself from heading straight towards the grimy walls.
It had obviously lost its bearing and was frantically trying to get out of the prison walls and out into the open.
I kept wanting to tell it to “look up!” and “head towards the sunlight!” but knew my helpful attempts would be futile.
How alike are we to the birds!
And what a perfect analogy for God to remind me to always “look up” when things get confusing and perplexing.
Today, I am reminded to not look at the small incidents that do not go my way.
While staying at home on a saturday night wasn’t exactly what I had planned, I’m glad for the online catchups with Germaine and Kiana.. yay!

my pretty little prototype!

2008-04-09T22:09:00.003+08:00

i decided to blog about people who i am close to
and their common struggles.
names are changed due to privacy

Johnny wishes he was famous
spending time alone in his room
with a7x and silverstein blasting out from his stereo
An electric guitar around his torso, play well enough? not so...

while he wishes he could escape this
it all seems so contagious
not to be yourself and faceless
in a life that have no soul

but dude dont worry
i remember feeling low
i remember losing hope
i remember all the feels
and the day that all of these torments has stopped

WE ARE ALL INNOCENT
YES WE ARE, WE ARE ALL!

Mary losing faith in what she knows
hates herself and all her clothes
think of running away and leaving a suicide note
every calorie is a war

and while she wishes she was a doctor
and she had never heard of cancer (leukemia!?!)
she wishes God would give her some answer
and make her feel happy

but silly girl dont worry
i remember feeling low
i remember losing hope
i remember all the feels
and the day that all of these torments has stopped

WE ARE ALL INNOCENT!

one day, you'll have to let it go
one day, you'll have to stand up on your own
one day, you'll have to come out of the closet
one day, you'll have to face all these problems with confidence

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

this is MADNESS

2008-04-07T21:19:00.001+08:00

here i am
once again
pouring out all my unhappiness...
well not all... some...

i just came back from jogging and i feel damn tired
i am suppose to feel high and invincible because of the Dophamine hormones that makes u feel good....
i threw up while jogging... thats the worst part...

my immune system has been very weak these afew weeks
i keep getting sick every 2 or 3 days.
whenever i do some tiring physical work i fell sick on the very day.

This is MADNESS
not being able to concerntrate on studies and exercise...

Saturday i attended the MAD (make a difference) in church
i watched the video called RAIN
it talks about the 'storm' that you have faced or facing...
everybody have storms in some part of their lives...

I have been facing a storm which has driven me crazy and even made me sick

you will feel hopeless and vulnurable when you faced the storm
but remember!!! GOD is always with us.
He is welcoming you with arms wide open...
why do you resist?
He will hold you in his arms and get you through the storm.
'For He has came for the sick, not the healthy'

I filpped through the Bible and i came across a chapter called ACTS
saying that there are 'trials' which are to test our faith in GOD.
and i also came across a chapter called JOB
who has been tested by satan if he has enough faith in GOD.
Job lost everything in afew days. his family, friends and properties.
in the end he shaved bald and say "He give and he take, naked i came, naked i shall be gone"
that strikes me.

i has not been spending time with GOD in past afew months
after i have lost my valuables i turned to Him again...
He is pulling me back to Him.
After i read that bible verse, i dropped my grief for my items
He will make a way for me.
this is what i believe

Dear God
this is what i, your unworthy servernt, humbly asked for
i want to be well again.
both physically and mentally
trade my sorrows and pain Lord
I pray
Amen.

damn

2008-03-28T22:00:00.002+08:00

i am mindlessly strumming chords on my guitar
its seems like the end
searching for a sheer sparkle of hope...

losing my items and pressure drove me to stress
stress drove me into fatigue
fatigue again drove me into sickness

i fell on my knees to pray for once in a long time
felt really helpless

body temperature hovering around 40degree celcius
kept me, covered with blankets, shivering in bed
longing to recover...

afew words of encouragements from friends makes me FEEL better

planning ahead
brainstorming how to solve these problems
1 by 1.

i hope you understand my problems
so if i offended you in anyway i wish you could forgive me
would you?
pls

stress is not stress

2008-03-23T23:26:00.004+08:00

spending a day with your love one is priceless
stripping all my stress away
brighten up my day
the charms and cuteness are the secrets

the words sound as sweet as honey ( even nonsense )
the smile, the laughter
and those eyes!!! which capture
every moves you make
contacting your eyes

making me feel like i am on the top of the world
listening with emphathy to my problems
and the way she makes you forget all the stress and
makes you think all about fun
optimism lies in her

thanks!
i will always love you like my sister!

she could be you

2008-03-23T00:24:00.004+08:00

hi
i heard this song from the tv show called KYLE XY
i am so addicted to this song.
this song is in my imeem playlist
which is under 2nd cross
9th song in the list
DO LISTEN TO THE SONG!
close your eyes and LISTEN!
DONT JUST LISTEN, FEEL IT!!!

here are the lyrics

SHE COULD BE YOU

I'm haunted by this photograph
Don't know why
Every time I look, I get shivers down my spine
You're such a beautiful face
I know those eyes
They take me back in time

She could be you
I wouldn't even know
She could be you
But that was long ago
She could be you
I wish that I could tell you
What you don't know
I dream about that day
But it's impossible
In another world,I'll be yours tonight
But I can't break free from this life

She could be you
I wouldn't even know
She could be you
But that was long ago
She could be you
I see it all the time
I know it's true
A picture doesn't lie

She could be you
I wouldn't even know
She could be you
But that was long ago
She could be you

winding road

2008-03-22T00:41:00.002+08:00

today is a winding road
tell me where start and tell me something i dont know

today i'm on my own
i cant move a muscles and i cant pick up the phone

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside, just to see if I can breathe

I gotta find a way out

Maybe theres a way out......

shyt head

2008-03-19T21:12:00.002+08:00

The wrecked and the jaded, a place so impure in my head.
i keep recalling things that i should have left behind long time ago
grief, pain, regrets and sufferings
they came like flashes.

i closed my eyes...
once in my life i felt so vulnurable.
watching the 'forgotten' occuring again, compelled by the impure mind
once in my life i felt helpless...

ignoring the mockings of the ppl
could seem to be bothered
sometimes feeling the beating the shit out of these people,
blocked by my self conscious...
i will not be the one i used to be
i WILL NOT go back to the person i was before.
cynical, jaded and sedated....

once in awhile i put my brain in use to humour...
which is sometime brain cracking...
speaking gibberish and nonsense
i dislike (hate is a strong word.) people who try to spoil the fun
come on.. if you wanna laugh just LAUGH!!
dont act serious and say "you think its funny?" or give an cold laughter!!

having 2 different side of me is very difficult....
happy go easy type and serious type...
totally different personality in different places
that tired me....

they take advantage of me not being hot-tempered...
i go with the flow... sometime its hard
but i just give a sinister smile with a hole in my heart.

my greatest fear? someone used to ask me...
its to lose my love ones...
completion will not present if anyone of them are to be lost or gone away...

so pls dont leave... or give a cold shoulder
you all might think i dont look like that
deep inside the corner of my heart..
longing for that is me...

everyone around me are fragments of me and my life
so pls....

time?

2008-03-13T22:29:00.002+08:00

holiday????
where is my holiday?

every morning i wake up to an awefully disturbing sound of my alarm.
yes. EVERY MORNING!
even weekends i gotta wake up bloody early to study
because i am able to memorise and learn easily in the early morning...

oh ya where is my holiday???
it doesnt exist!
monday to wednesday was quite relaxing and fun cos lab works and practicals
today and tmr will be damn tiring... i spent my bloody time infront of computers for 9hrs
we went to study AUTODESK programme in SP.
my eyes are damn tired... i am bloggin with heavy eyelits...

enough of those complaints and unfavors...
look on the bright side...
lookingg........
eh wait! i cant seem to find a bloody good thing about it!
wait again... i learn something, which is totally useless for my studies......
damn i regretted signing up for the dreading, boring, long winded programme.

but we had fun... spamming in class blog and ace learning....
making fun of the lectureers and doing nonsense...
too much nonsense...
i am going crazy!!!!!

p.s *dont miss me when i'm gone*
*AND I AM NOT GIVING YOU MY BLOODY PHONE NO.*
*silly girl!!!!*

2008-03-12T22:21:00.002+08:00

Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly

Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing through my open ears
exciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on.....

dead = alive
happy = good sadness?!?
life = everything
me = needle in the hay stack

random one

2008-03-08T20:34:00.002+08:00

the words were thickly layered with scorn and menace.
listening to them was like enduring a blistering, hackle-raising tirade.
my first reaction was irritation.
second was fury
third.... i let it go....
resistation at work.
managing impulsivity at work too...

every step every breathe every move, is an eternity
felt like its endless
wild thoughts and adrenalin
sharks swimming through my veins
sighting the crowd and the goal, the ending point.
giving all that i have. catching the rest off guard.
sprinting and screaming
longing for a gasp of air, water and especially the words of encouragement from theee

threw myself on the grass
catching my breath
theeee came with a bottle of water and words which i long for
i treasure it like a cup of champange in the great depression.

may be may be not ?!?
who care
i tried my best
vague enough?
no? yes? ambiguisous! take it!

boo ya!

me you and my medication

2008-03-05T19:28:00.002+08:00

I've had too much to care, too much to think, too much to decide, too much to determine'
I've left all those quirky stuffs and persue obsessions, reading books and sleeping.
where have i been?
I dont know where to begin....

we'are all looking for something, to take away the pain. (right?)
me, you and my medication (making the best of it)
love is just a chemical creation (will it be permanent?)
synthetic sensations...

this way seems like a right track, may be you can help me find the right path
Is it too much to ask? too much too fast? too much to ignore?
dont know. dont care?
medicine makes me ok!

we're all looking for someone to take away the pain (right?)

so can you feel it?
can you feel it coming down?
you gotta get up!
can you get up off the ground?
can you hear it?
can you hear me screaming?

my determination has gone off limits
persuing the impossible which turns out to be possible...
i'll be running and screaming on friday
hard works never will be futile.

fake

2008-02-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

Small, simple, safe price.
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.
And I am not afraid to die;
I'm not afraid to bleed and fuck and fight,
I want the pain of payment.
What's left, but a section of pygmy sized cuts.
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.
To fill and spill over and under my thoughts.
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.
I'm cutting trying to picture your black, broken heart.
Love is not like anything,
Especially a fucking knife!
I'M A FAKE

these lines keep ringing in my head...

once again..

2008-01-27T21:01:00.000+08:00

its sunday night and i am freakin' BORED!
so i decided to BLOG!
i cant take the action which is called SNOG!

err gotta stop with the rhyme and limericks... ( it sucks )
but its true though.

once again this morning i alone VENTURE into the "jungle of concretes"
with the lift from "the big rectangular metal box with 4 wheels"
i looked at all the unfamiliar faces and hoping to see some familiar faces..
finally i saw a familiar face. 'it' dissapper into the crowd before before i say "hi"
i walked into GUARDIAN to purchase the 'plaster of life' for my "ancestor"
as i carried myself out of the concrete jungle, the sky turned black with the power of darkforces
with a mighty roar and the white bright command,
the bullets of waterdroplets scattered around with no mercy
humans scattered to avoid them under the shelter of concrete
some worriors took out their shields to protect themselves from those bullets
but it was futile as the situation was a complete INNIHILATION and they were drenched
the bullets struck me as i was watching the total CHAOS.
before i knew it my body was half drenched.
and there came my heroine who puts a sheild over my head
as i turn to look at her, she gave me a look full of mercy and strength
she sent me back to my planet (blk 288e) which is next to hers (blk 289f)

my interpretation of the highlight of my day in a fantasy style...
gtg.

drop dead

2008-01-26T22:35:00.000+08:00

I nearly drop dead after a tiring week of school.
It was both emotionally and physically tiring...
O lvl results came out and my feelings were VAGUE!
My big secret plan worked, with the help of total of 249 ppl.
It was a complete INNIHILATION of SOMBODY'S career.

Had a cell group meeting at Mivio's house in Ang Mo Kio.
We finally got a vision of CELL2
"to be family who loves God and spread his word among others" something like that.. haha

i've been missing out alot and gotta catch up with studies and social stuffs..

i went to church which SJ, ZK, Des, Alex, Ken and WH attend to.
i reached there abt 2+. i somehow have an urge to go there and attend their service
the sermon and testimonials were very touching and interesting
the title of the sermon was "LOVING THE UNLOVEABLE"
i shed tears while listening.
the worship was awesome.
we can totally feel the PRESENSE OF GOD around us.

exhausted... how can i finish up the song without your presense around me?
choing D&T. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT !!!!

BELIEVE ME I AM A BASTARD!!! (this week)
unbastardizing...

....

2008-01-13T21:25:00.000+08:00

woah...
feels like a weekend has been fast forward...
time files man...
just finished all my assignments and
hopefully got somebody to talk to for next erm 30 mins?!?

wahahahahaha i am not thinking of you anymore!!! booya!

buggerrrrrr

2008-01-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

SAY HELLO TO OLD ME!
after hiding my trueself for 2 years I AM BACK!
WATCH OUT!!!!!

dang

2008-01-05T22:58:00.001+08:00

wo0t.
school is fun. picking on newbies (sec 1s) and oldies (the rest).
screw the dm. we dont care.
enjoying everysingle moment in school

wasted. i didnt take my chances today.
and awwww she is sad today... make all of us sad... T.T

2008-01-02T21:47:00.000+08:00

The dawn of 5Ns supremacy in school begins now!

look ahead

2008-01-01T01:25:00.000+08:00

hey look ahead.
its 2008 and hopefully i could make the best of it
cos its probably my last year in singapore

more or less 12 hrs of schooling and studying a day.
more stress more complications more breakdowns.

WATEVER THIS YEAR BRINGS I'LL BE THERE
WITH OPEN EYES AND OPEN ARMS YEAH!!!!!

dhe.e..

2007-12-31T03:42:00.000+08:00

i will do things that i could do, expecting nothing in return...
for real! i am serious!

watch out

2007-12-30T00:17:00.000+08:00

CALL ME CRAZY!
WHOOO HOOO SCHOOL IS REOPENING IN 4 DAYS!!! w0ot!
watch out juniors, here comes the seniors...

dammit

2007-12-29T00:11:00.000+08:00

well... guess what? I am still BROKE today...
Last cell of 2007 should have been special... but ended up getting our headspinning round and round on the rotation thing in science center... with ppl from other cell....

wh

2007-12-27T22:58:00.000+08:00

the day before yesterday - breakdown :(
yesterday - putting them back together -_-
today - i am broke +_+
tmr - only God know what will happen? :D

christmas song

2007-12-25T21:39:00.000+08:00

this an original christmas song from kokokiana aka KIA
she is diane's fren and quite a close fren of mine.
Kia sent me this lyrics as a christmas present
song would hopefully come later arr....
so here it goes

"No Christmas for you"

No, there won't be Christmas for you this year
For the simple reason being shes not here
There won't be eggnogs by the cozy fire
There won't be glasses of mulled wine either
There won't even be a Christmas tree'cause she's not here to light it up with you
Oh, Santa honey, won't you bring his baby back to him?
'cause he miss her, yes, he miss her oh so dearly
he haven't sent her her Christmas card
'cause that would mean they really are apart
The Christmas stockings are as empty as his heart
He knows she's away doing something good
But just this once, baby, if you could
You know you can, and you know should
'cause Christmas won't be Christmas...without her
Today is Christmas and he's still waiting outside
Wishing upon a star that she'll be coming home tonight
But it was cold, it was getting late
Sadly, he crept back into bed
he dreamt that she's back
Merry Christmas, Soe Hanny :)

awww... so nice...

x mas

2007-12-25T02:45:00.001+08:00

this is an incomplete christmas.
i thought something really good gonna happen this x'mas.
but IT DIDNT....

eh...

2007-12-24T02:48:00.000+08:00

woah that beautiful stranger name is Pandora (interesting name), she is ex bbss student leader. lol. ANYWAY........

i had conversations with the thoughts in my head...
all i hear are angels crying why wont they just sing instead???

wo90ot

2007-12-23T00:02:00.000+08:00

the previous post was referring to a beautiful stranger who i met on the bus...

tonight gonna be fun... sleep over at andrew house...

one post

2007-12-21T22:59:00.000+08:00

wow... her devious smile make me forget abt Diane for a minuite there... amazing!!!

ok Ok OK!!!

2007-12-16T16:03:00.000+08:00

its 4:04pm in sunday evening and guess what? I JUST WOKE UP!!!
this post suppose to be a long post but i just wanna get sth up.
some ppl say my blog is long dead...
erm not really just check out the date of the last post.

basically these are what i did this week

helped out in christmas decorations in church

hanging out (such a waste of time)

went for MCR concert ( rocked hard )

went to gym ( afew times )

refreshing my memories on songs which i forgot how to play

lead the cell group

went to church

went to botak jones and ate u-crazy-what

play pool (afew times)

played for sabbath ( screwed up big time )

shannon, uli, bernice and me after MCR concert...

advice...

2007-12-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

I'll have the last laugh, when i see you walking with some guy
Cos I know you will end up falling in love ( AGAIN )!!!
So take these words, some good advice.
"All you've done gonna come back twice"
Then you will know how much it hurts
I REALLY NEED TO TELL YOU...

my so call holidaysss

2007-12-04T00:59:00.000+08:00

i just came back from playing LAN with boys from cell 1 and 2...

i met Jo at queensway and hang out with her for afew hrs.
she followed me to cityhall and met her frens and they went shopping...

it was abt 5 .45 when she left me in city hall... we were suppose to meet at 6.30
so i went to davis guitar shop
i looked around some guitars... i met Min Hui there...
then we went to Funan IT mall to meet the rest of the ppl...
we played for 4.5 hrs and it was really fun...
Clarence, Min Hui, Peng Kong and I share a taxi back home cos its was already 11.45
well tats abt it for today...

let me talk abt last month.... NOVEMBER!!!
it was an EMO month...
full of emotions... grieve, happy, sad and stoned...
i laughed. i cried. i weep. i sobbed. i smiled.
i lost a fren from my platoon whos index no is 0213.. mine 0211
went for my "reservice"
3 days of waiting for my team..
3 days of refreshing training...
9 days of actions....
3 days of luxury in phuket
7 days of torture and fun with family
3 days of fun and melo in church camp...

thats all i can say... the details of reservice is kinda classified...
so ya chaos...
i feel sick...
gotta sleep soon....
.,.,./.,/.,././.??./?./?.,./?
,.,<><><>

why do you love me?

2007-10-28T14:31:00.001+08:00

this is a lyric from a song Jiayong(my band's guitarist) composed and sang.
i have no idea how he came up with the idea of the song
cos this song genre is totally different from wat he play...
and erm as far as i know he has no gf...
ok the song title is... and here it goes..
the link below is to his song on imeem
http://profile.imeem.com/xDOlpa/music/-TYW93dA/jiayong_why_do_you_love_me/

"why do you love me?"

Loneliness, didn't you feel the pain in her heart?

Didn't you see she was hurting inside?

Then he came, then he came in to her life

the joyful waves of the seas they tried to ride

You gave this lover a chance to build her world around you

now all the pain that she went through are gone

No longer again will he shout in anger

no longer will the fuel stoke the flame

And so she asked?

Why do you love me like you do?

'Coz you're everything that means to me

and I can't keep myself from asking

Why do you love me like you do?

'Coz you're everything that I live for and I don't think I'd want to ask for more

Now that we're alone, I have you by myself

got this scintillating feeling when I'm holding your hand

I wanna kiss you but that's if you want me to

we can take it slow, we've got all our lives to do so

And I know, I never get another chance in this one life stand

I'll live my life for you don't you worry

and uhh..baby...ohh..

feel free to be what you want to be

All I'll have is you by my side for eternity

So don't you ask

Why do you love me like you do?

'Coz you're everything that means to me
and I can't keep myself from asking
Why do you love me like you do?

'Coz you're everything that I live for and I don't think I'd want to ask for more

...

2007-10-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

WHY DO PEOPLE BLOG???

There are many reasons why one may blog and one blogger could have more than one reason for blogging. Examining the larger categories of blogs provides some insight into why people blog.

Personal, journal style blogs

Some bloggers want to blog about the details of their everyday lives usually to inspire, educate or lend humor to the reader.

Topical

A blogger may have a specialized area of knowledge, such as website design, and may desire to share that knowledge with others.

News

The most popular blogs cover news stories and allow readers to comment on the news.

Educational

Students can blog to record educational activities, practice writing skills and share knowledge with others.

Religious

Christian blogs in particular have come into prominence in the last year. Blogs allow discussion of religious topics and can offer readers prayers, devotionals and Bible studies all in a comfortable, interactive atmosphere.

Marketing

Business owners, small and large, can benefit from blogging to allow their customers or clients to keep current with company happenings and latest products.

There are many reasons for blogging and those reasons may evolve over time for the individual blogger.

The existence of categories on a blog provides the blogger with the opportunity to blog for several different reasons on one blog. Overlap in reasons for blogging and subsequently types of blogs seem to be the rule rather than the exception. Blogging has become an important medium of communication and future developments should prove exciting.

By Victoria Carrington, M.D.

that should give you some ideas why do people blog...

actually it could be a very very long topic to talk about.

but erm that should be enough....

dididididididididi

2007-10-22T13:40:00.000+08:00

I AM FREAKING WORRIED!!!
i dunno why i feel WORRIED...
whenever i see my frens make bad companies, I AM WORRIED.
whenever i think of losing my love ones, I AM WORRIED.
whenever i am rejected, I AM WORRIED.
whenever i lose something that i work very hard for, I AM WORRIED.

IS IT A WORRY OR FEAR???

dolphin's cry

2007-10-15T23:09:00.000+08:00

life is like a shooting star

it don't matter who you are

if you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time...

that is the bridge of the song call 'the dolphin's cry' by live.

it keeps ringing in my head and it is so meaningful...

well.. my previous posts were the so called 'pissed off ' posts

and I ENJOY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF IT...

I was quite busy on this weekend doing reports...

lucky Zoey helped me out... actually she was rather compelled to help me out..

haha... Its all done...

song of the week : the dolphin's cry (magni's version from rockstar supernova)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ol66sMQ-DQw

what

2007-10-12T22:31:00.000+08:00

WHAT?
WHATS WRONG?
OH, NTH
BEING HAMMERED DOWN BY 6 Ft BASTARD AND I BEING KICKED ON THE HAND AND STEPPED BY THE SPIKED SHOES.... OTHER THAN THAT I AM FINE!!!

YOU BLOODY BASTARDS!!!

i dont understand

2007-10-12T00:03:00.000+08:00

I DONT UNDERSTAND!
I DONT UNDERSTAND GIRLS!!!
THEY CHANGE THEIR MINDS IN A FLICK OF A SECOND...
I WISH I COULD READ THEIR MIND!

WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH???
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE I JUST LIKE TO CARE! WTF???
I SHALL TRY BEING CAREFREE FOR A PERIOD OF TIME!

I SHALL CARE NO MORE...

boo ya

2007-10-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

happy sabbath!!!!!!!!
i feel so complete. ( i felt hollow afew days back)
i've been having so much fun going out with my old buddies and ex.
we had acoustic night yesterday and man it was fun.
cos we got new guests.
my ex and her bf.

ok now. alot of ppl ask me what is acoustic night?
acoustic night is when my frens who live around my area and i go to a playground which is quite a distance from housing areas. we usually start it when ppl sleeps.
sometime we study, chit chat, catch up with each other and PLAY MUSIC!!!
some of us brought guitars and shakers.

my ex plays guitar and sang. her bf vocal is amazing
there were abt 8 of us.
all of us know how to play guitar.
so we take turns to play..
we started out with the song hallelujah.. it was quite emotional..
later we just rocked out.
some songs like frozen by within tempatation, bring me to life by evanescence etc.

we all play until 4am and we went to mac.
there we had interesting chat
to describe each person with one word.
ppl describe and now its my turn to describe all the ppl in the table.
i went on on and on and i have to describe 1 word to match Jo.
man believe it or not she is manly man
she got biceps and eps.
so i said Jo is manly and she suddenly punched me on my chin.
damn it was painful...
then everybody started laughing.
man. they dont know how it feels.

today went jamming and watch balls of fury..
well i am having a time of my life...

chaos....
NoCtUrNaL..

exams

2007-10-04T12:43:00.000+08:00

EXAMS ARE UNOFFICALLY OVER!!!
meaning that only D&T left...
i mean who cares about D&T???
D&T theory usually ask stupid questions...
for example:Q: What material is used to cut shear in soft metal sheets?
A: SHEAR CUTTER!!! (wtf???)
Q: What are soft metals? Explain in details. (6m)
A: Soft metals are metal which are not hard. They could be cut as they are not hard. eg. aluminium foil. (full mark)

History paper is over... Its tough.
After memorising, reading and mumbling all the
"causes, consequences, revolutions, how ppl consolidate power, wars, dates, years, economic revolutions, economic problems, famine and invadings."
for 2 months and sleep deprivations for nearly a month.
man.. i am beat... History rocks hard...BUT Its knocks me off.
everything in my head in this month was about HISTORY!!!
sometimes i woke up in the middle of the night...
sweating like mad cos i dreamt of me sitting for history paper.

the only subjects i care about are E maths, A maths and History.
they make me feel smart... haha.
i was damn excited today... my hands were shaking.
i managed it very well...
SBQs are damn difficult...
but when it comes to the essay my nerves are gone.
i chose the topic on RUSSIA.
the questions are quite challanging but still the ans are from the same book!!!
no matter how they change the question style there is only 1 answer...

my ex is back and she brought her new bf...
lol kinda awkward...
still she is one of my close frens.
looks like we gonna have an australian vocalist for acoustic night!
d said Micah is a hella good singer...

alright gotta go and sleep for i was deprived on sleeping.

NoCtUrNaL!!!!!

bittersweet

2007-09-30T00:48:00.000+08:00

i feel so hollow and blank...
why? i am not very sure...
shit head...
i think dave is right...
i bear ppl's problems...
pretty much stoned...
why me?
i knew it an hour ago...
how could he do that to her?
JEROME SUCKS!!! haha there i said it...
i am beat.
i didnt slept in last 48 hrs.
i have fallen...

i am hallucinating... i am seeing things...
i see you and you and you and you and you... haha
i've lost my mind. i not crazy i am just alittle impaired...
arrr . i am talking crap.. typing whatever comes into my mind

bittersweet.
you gonna get the death of me.
i dont want you, but i need you.
i love u and hate u at the very same time...

a tune that rings in my head....
dozing offff/>?<>?>>?

mooncake festival

2007-09-25T23:19:00.000+08:00

what an evening...

school was boring. BUT disturbing Wei Jian was FUN.

tmr onward there will be no school.

i could either go to school or stay at home and SLACK.

I had an afternoon nap and i had that dream again...

while i was sleeping i downloaded the HEROES SEASON 2 EPISODE1

i watched it when i woke up.. well it made my day.

Jas came to my house and so did Ken.

we meet up with rest of the 'gang' and played fire on playground near Ken's house.

they said it was a mooncake festival... i've nvr heard of it as i am not from here..

it was fun. we all bought fire crackers, candles and sparklers.

we ended playing with fire...

strange dreams

2007-09-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

my dreams are freaking strange these afew days...
i've been dreaming the same dream again and again and again

i started dreaming that last thursday.
and i am still dreaming that...

in the dream,
basically i was protecting somebody, probably a girl.
i am not very sure. i was protecting her from people.
whos faces are so familiar.
i was killing them like i've done it so many times.
i looked at their faces and realized that they are my friends.
and the girl i was protecting hit me on the head
and i woke up.

i only remembered 2 phrases from my dream,
'BIG BROTHER' &
"Why do you look for questions, when you already have answers?

what does that mean? no idea.
may be exam stress?

strange..........
vanishing offf.....

responsibility

2007-09-16T21:41:00.000+08:00

Responsibility

I was hanging out in church on saturday evening and
Mandy asked me "How does it feels like to have no parents around?"
First thing that came into my mind... "Responsiblilty"
I need to be responsible for myself and people around me...
And i need to have strong self decipline...
Like time management, self made curfew, choosing a good accompany and stuff.

These afew days were quite depressing...
Alot of problems like family matters, health, studies, friends and leadership.
These are just a fragments of my life.
So i have to get on with it...
Dealing and settling one by one.
Some need to use force and some need to talk.
Its time for me to STEP UP!!!
Taking the responsibilty to another level.

to anonymous...
change your attitude, stop being childish.
start acting independent, i wont be there all the time.
i know you have a great amount of potential to be a leader.
you have exactly 6 more months excluding school holidays to prove that you deserve what you wanted.
so take my advice... (you know who you are)

i wanna thank to all the ppl who are there for me when i needed to someone to talk to.
and i wanna say if you need someone to talk to, a listening ear... HEY I AM HERE!!!
i could give you some good advices and/or cheer you up...

why look for questions when u already have answers???
busy holidays...

?>?>?<>???>>>?>>??
rocking offff

funeral concert

2007-09-09T19:11:00.000+08:00

funeral...
funeral

????

funeral for a friend concert = AWESOME...

confessions....

2007-09-07T02:18:00.001+08:00

confessions...
1. I lost faith in God afew weeks ago.
2. I gossipped about ppl.
3. I forgot my mom's b'day.

motivations...
1. Coach Lee.
2. Mr Cha (history teacher)
3. D

inspirations...
1.Lifehouse (in composing songs)
2.Stephen van Haestregt (drummer from Within Temptaions) in playing drums
3.Bob Dylan (in playing guitar)

problems...
1.Family problems.
2.Health
3.Dilemmas.

hey

2007-09-03T00:48:00.000+08:00

i havent been posting for quite awhile...

i got carried away by the lyrics of the song "hands down"

I was quite lucky these afew weeks..

N lvl prelim results are great... All A1s...

but still, i felt like i didnt even put in much effort...

well i made some new frens,

old frens become good frens,

good frens become close frens.

I kinda pissed my fren off on her b'day...

and i feel quite sorry for her...

anyways... Jurong SDA Youth Alive was kinda fun...

first day i was kinda stress out over stuffs.

and i decided to shave my head bald...

and i felt like i just threw away a burden and no more weight of the world on my shoulder...

second day i took some photo with my frens and i look kinda strange...

hands down

2007-08-10T00:33:00.001+08:00

"Hands Down"

Breathe in for luck,breathe in so deep,this air is blessed,you share with me.
This night is wild,so calm and dull,these hearts they race,from self control.
Your legs are smooth,as they graze mine,we're doing fine,we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,to break or bury,or wear as jewelery,which ever you prefer.
The words are hushed lets not get busted;just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...so we can get some.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.

My heart is yours to fill or burst,to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,which ever you prefer.
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingersand the time on the clock when we realized it's so lateand this walk that we shared together.

The streets were wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it,and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waistand you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,that you meant it,that you meant it,and I knew,that you meant it,that you meant it.

bored

2007-08-09T01:08:00.000+08:00

hey guys
these few weeks have been 'marvallous'
i got into troubles and troubles and troubles...
i have passed down my position
and i am now as free as a criminal...

i nvr planned to go to school this week but
for some reason i got to go to school for 2hrs...

my d&t folio has finished and get great comments from teachers.( yeah baby )

i went for the school national day today...
the worst national day ever..
i get gang banged with crayons...
my frens smurged the crayons on my face and my hair...
the crayons are from the goodie bags...
i spent quite a long time to rub these off from my face...
using soap is not enough i need to scrath them offf..

i am damn bored...
i am having n lvl prelims...
i have done my revision and i got nth to do...
i've been watching movies online almost everyday...

and i'm trying to compose some songs this afew days...
i need some inspirations...

rocking offff?>>?<>?<>???<>

2007-07-31T15:57:00.000+08:00

Stayed awake all night toss and turnin'
Now my blood shot eyes are burnin'
Workin' out why this ain't workin'
Fight after fight after fight
And now it's killin' me
You were too busy to believe in
All the run away dreams I was dreamin'
Time to pack up and go I'm leavin'
Fight after fight after fight
And now I gotta be

On My Own And living in a world alone
Gets better every day
That I don't have to say I'm sorry I'm coming home
I'm gonna make it on my own
I'll always take the harder road
Gets better every day
That I don't have to say I'm sorry I'm coming home

How'd you end up oh so jaded?
Cynical and so sedated
Can't live in this world you created
Day after day after day

You will always be the lonely one
You will always try to swallow the Sun
Just remember you could never make it rain on everyone
On my own And living in a world alone
Gets better every day
Cause I don't have to say
And now you're killin' me...........

thats what "Victory Of the Loser" came up with in the detention room...

freak

2007-06-27T21:45:00.000+08:00

hey ppl
WHATEVER THINGS I SAY IN THIS BLOG STAYS IN THIS BLOG.
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

i had my worst holiday EVER!
went to the army camp which was fun but damn tired.
my parents are not having a good relationships.
my mom wish my father was dead
and my father want to divorce.
they aren't even talking to each other now...
as i am the eldest son i have to help them settle these problems as peacefully as possible.
i feel very responsible for whats been happening and i dont want any of these things to happen.
my brother and sister dont even notice whats happening...
there are so much pressure on me settling this...
i am a kind of person who minds his own business,
but now i am doing things which i usually dont.

now i am smiling and laughing on the outside.
but i am screaming and shouting on the inside.

these days i cant concentrate on school stuff...
and now i get angry very easily...
but i have to control myself.

too much responsibility.
not only in family but school and church too...

home by chris daughtry describe wats happing to me and wat i want.

"I'm staring out into the night,Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.
Well I'm going home,Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.Well I'm going home.
The miles are getting longer, it seems,The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.
So I'm going home,Back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
Be careful what you wish for,'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

STUDIO!!!

2007-05-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

wasssup ppl...
its been a while since i blogged...
i was mugging for my SA1.
now exams are over...
YEAH!!!!!!!!!
i am really looking forward for the holiday..
i did the music production as the post exam activity...
i would nvr regret taking this activity...
it was freaking fun...
make our own music, write your own lyrics...
and on the 4th day which is today,
went to the recording studio and record our own song...
(i love it love it love it love it love it)x1000000000000000000000000
haha....
here are some photos
in the waiting room..
my group

me getting recorded...

yo pppol

2007-04-01T20:57:00.000+08:00

wassup ppl..
i am finally updating my blog...
last sunday was fun... went to sentosa.

i got a bad sunburn on my face, upperbody and shoulders..
the burnt skins come off... and feel very itchy..
weekdays were boring...
got A maths test and all other shitty stuffs.
Some idiot signed me up for the discus and shot putt..
damn he or she...
why cant u just give other ppl chance to win.. lol
i was interviewed by Education Vendors form MOE on Friday..
i was busy studying the school hand book for that...
saturday was fun...
we kicked SOMEBODY's ass, he bullied my fren... serve him right.
specially jamming in the mother's room, singing our lungs out...
today went to mg phone aka a chaut
study, play guitar and play games...

rockingg offff.<>>><.. lets be emo nerds... lets mug emotionally...

wkakakaka

2007-03-14T05:34:00.000+08:00

wasssup ppl...
nvr post for quite along time...
past few weeks has been very stressful.
i got back my CA papers
my marks were lower than i expected...
and I FAIL MY FREAKING ENGLISH...
only a few ppl pass...

i taught the cell group last friday...
like borat say "GREAT SUCCESS"
it turned out quite ok...

Saturday went to church...
restring my guitar....
talk talk talk till 5+
then i went back home.

Sunday i went jamming with D.
nth much...

Monday do project and folio.
evening freee dinner.
Then play pool and CS...

Today....
ahh...
went to school for to finish up the product.
met that bastard...
talk so much...
after that went to bishan to buy electronics and mechanism
boring day....

no plans ahead... let me know if there is any happenings..

rocking offff.<>><>><<>><

lousy week

2007-03-03T21:01:00.000+08:00

hmmm...
this week is CA week...
Chemistry and History kicked my ass...
I dont even understand what the question means...
Others are managable...
Friday was my last paper... E maths... SUCKS HARD!!!
went for the workshop in the afternoon...
fun but useless...

DONT WATCH LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA!!!
i fell asleep for the half of the movie...

today went for the "amazing race"...
Its to go around the central areas of sg...
Damn tiring...

now i wanna doze off....

dozing offff><><>?>>??<>,./,,/?

hmmm

2007-02-25T18:01:00.000+08:00

i just realized that my blog has some problem viewing.
so i deleted and make a new one with same url name
the cny holidays were so boring..
i only visited my shaun's and christon's house.
i visited dawei house but ended up playing basketball
while others were visiting houses getting hong baos
i was STUDYING!!! backing up my studies...
weird..

that was last week.
ok this week was my b'day week.
my b'day was rite after cny 21/2/07
i tought it was in the holidays
i was damn unlucky tat somebody remind ppl
then u should know what happen after school

friday went to andrew's place for cell group.
cell 2 celebrated my b'day :)
thanks guys!!!

saturday went to church and kevin's house, band practice for teacher's day and went back home study for CA...

sunday studying the whole day...

shit next week is CA
history and social studies have nearly 100 pages to study
physic alone 12 chapters
english hack care
maths nearly done
chemistry no idea what to study

going to study again
rocking offf?>?>?>??<>>?>>>